January 1st 2010

Well this blog is a little different then my Love for Ryan blog and my old Sammy G blog. I am done with those and starting new. It has only been one day and already I am not sure exactly how I feel about this coming year. I, for the past 3 months, have been completely in love with a guy named Ryan, and well today it ended. I guess it was me. I don't know but this is my pact for the year: to stay single, to start a new life. I need to get things lined up with god and get things lined up with myself; Start a life for me, with school and a new job and new friends. I don't know where things went wrong with Ryan but I know there is no going back. I suppose whats done it done. Now don't get me wrong I do love him, and i wish things worked. I mean I have never loved anyone this much ever in my life. But maybe things were supposed to happen. I have been struggling with my relationship with Christ and maybe this is a way for me to really keep my attention on him. It is gonna be a struggle and it will be a process getting over Ryan but I can do it and hopefully I can find a good supporting group of friends to help me get through it. I know things are going to be different this year I just do. I know that things will get better. I was just saying to my friend today how I didn't think anything could top this past year I mean I graduated and had an amazing summer at camp and started a new great job and started a wonderful relationship with a guy I thought I was gonna marry, but I thing this is gonna be God this year. God working in me in ways I thought weren't possible. I guess this is what happens when you doubt his power. I think thats all I can think of. how powerful he is. I guess we will see what this year brings. Oh and a good portion of this blog will be me sharing how Guatemala is going because look at this god has already opened a door for sure. I cant wait to share all of this year with you. I plan to blog at least twice a week and that is me goal. Here we go 2010!